Do you ever feel like you’re less than you are? Do you ever feel like you are unworthy or alone? Most of us usually will never admit feelings like these because we are perceived to be strong and never to appear weak for some twisted purpose that we must seem perfect. Most of all, it’s hard to admit these feelings because that means that we actually have real fear and real insecurities in our lives.
Life isn’t easy. It’s hard.
It makes us do hard things.
What life doesn’t explicitly tell us is that the reason it makes us do hard things is so that it can teach us. Life wants us to address our negative feelings before it changes the root of who we are. Be honest otherwise we become bitter, short tempered, and uneasy to be around. I know that when I feel down about myself, I’m no fun to be around. That’s not who I am. That’s not who you are! My pastor always tells us – don’t bury your problems, deal with it and move on from it. I agree with this because sooner or later, it will always come back and resurface.
Some trivial things that can happen throughout the day like
- Not being able to complete editing my photos or videos
- Not being able to finish dinner on time OR to even start it that I end up having to buy takeout,
- I can’t ever finish these loads of laundry before the next ones come along,
- Never having the sink free of dirty dishes
…can sometimes put me in an insecure mode like, why can’t I even finish these random things and be an effective person?
Or It can even be something more of bigger importance like:
- Not knowing how to be the wife that God is teaching me to be
- Unable to be the mom that I set myself out to be
- Not ever having our forever home for my family
- Unable to make this blogging career a success
These are real scary goals that isn’t easy to achieve and in turn, it creates insecurities. It also creates thoughts that invites fear to possibly rule my life.
When that happens, it makes us feel alone, doesn’t it? Like why am I feeling insecure while it looks like everyone else has it together? That’s something scary to admit. Even writing these words is scary because it makes me transparent to you.
But life wants me to do hard things
because there is always a reason.
At the end of the day when I’m feeling completely ridiculous and feeling inadequate about myself, I realize that there is this thing in our human nature that we cannot really avoid. There will be insecurities and fear at some point, but there is also a stage of overcoming and there is always a place that is reachable.
Strategies to get through attacks of insecurities:
- Addressing that what we’re feeling is normal, but that it is also driven by fear
- Recognize that fear is a liar (go ahead, you can sing it)
- Believe that we are with a greater purpose that’s bigger than how we feel at the moment
- Accept that we need to have patience to see the goals we set through
- Let go of the things that we can’t control by talking to God about the struggles
I don’t know about you, but those are hard things. Honestly, the easiest thing to do is to sulk in a corner and cry about my feelings and insecurities. Feeling sorry for ourselves is sooo muchhhhh easier than doing those five things above because we can literally just sit instead of getting up and doing something about it. But that also means giving up. I don’t want to give up. I want to be better.
Life wants you to to overcome the hard things
because there is a place for you.
I don’t consider myself old, but I don’t consider myself young either. Now in my thirties, I am somewhat the same but so different. I’ve realized the difficulties of the past, and I see the changes in myself now. I still get insecurities and I still have fear at times, but I’m not bound.
I became an overcomer.
I’ve climbed over that mountain and came here.
I’ve made mountains of successes (but of course still working on some, too)
I look around me and it’s like a red curtain have been drawn and revealed the ‘now’ in my life was an impossible back then. I realized while life was tough, life was also teaching me to be patient and to have faith. Life was also showing me the strength I had inside all this time that I can always overcome. Remember the list of insecurities? They look a lot like this now:
- This year is our thirteenth year anniversary.
Choosing to learn to love God’s way is remarkable and rewarding.
- I have three children who loves God and constantly reminds us to pray.
I think its safe to say that we are doing something right in this parenting thing.
- We somehow bought our forever home in less than two months time of searching,
buying, closing, and actually moving in. But remember the amount of years it took us to get here.
- I created a website in 2016 sharing my motherhood life, home life, and travel life that I am still working on. Still working on. I didn’t give up and I have to say, my vision is getting more and more clear as time goes by.
Now the trivial things that we sometimes make into a much bigger thing that it really is… It’s okay not to finish a project in one day. Take a week. It’s okay if that specific day you can’t prepare a home cooked meal for your family. Give yourself a break and buy takeout or Costco freezer dinner. With the laundry thing though, we just have to accept that laundry will take three or four days of the whole week especially if you have multiple kids. No way around it. Acceptance is key and it will lighten the burden and the unrealistic expectations of yourself. No mom guilt here!
So whenever you find yourself in a rut of insecurities…
Remember that you are here for a reason and in time, you will see what that reason is. Don’t let the insecurities and fear stay there in your heart. And if you need to, talk to someone about it and don’t be ashamed to show your weaknesses because we all have them, no matter how hard people try to hide it. They have them. We have weaknesses. Remember your plan to overcome it and remember who you are.
And while at times you have fear, you are not bound by fear. So smile. You are not your insecurities. So pray. You are a beautiful soul who strives for good. So look forward, You are a learner. You are a believer, and most of all… you are an overcomer who can do all things.