Am I an Introvert?

I use to think that introverted people are shy and unsure of the world and its sorroundings. I use to think that I was shy. Now that I’m older and much wiser 🙂 I quickly realize that I was not shy at all, as a child or a teenager. I was not shy to introduce myself, or shy to ask questions. I was not shy to raise my hand in class, or to present a project. Being shy and being an introvert is so different, I can’t stress that enough. I remember often when I was a lot younger, whenever I would be in a crowded environment, after a few hours or so, I would feel a bit jittery. Unsure of what it exactly was then, I was almost pretty sure it was anxiety. When I would ignore it and not remove myself from the environment, I just felt like crap, drained and irritable.
I would feel like my space was taken over, the air I was breathing was stolen. Most importantly, I had no desire to hold conversations with literally anyone. I just felt tired of noise, tired of constant movement from everyone around, I guess you can say. Like literally, other people being present was just draining my energy. It may sound a bit dramatic it sounds like. Anyway, knowing this… I had to remove myself from the crowd. If it’s a corner in a room facing the other way, outside of a building, or if I just can’t stand it, I would literally just go home.

I think being this way are grounds for misjudgment from other people. I’m pretty sure every single person that didn’t know me thought I was snobby or didn’t like them if I decided to take a good half an hour to myself In an event. I’m not a mean person. I just like my space. If I am in a corner taking a break, it just means that. Taking a break, rejuvenate myself with peace and quietness. THIS energizes me.

Most people think that introverts are just shy people.
In all honesty, experience AND for being an actual introvert, this just isn’t true and not even close to what it is. It has more to do with what energizes a person. Some people get energized by being social, You know, in a crowded environment anywhere. Crowd in house parties or events, crowd in an outside event… Just by being social… In a crowd. Lol. I’m terrible at explaining. These are called extroverts. Introverts on the other hand, get energized by being alone. Yes, you read that right. By being ALONE, in an empty room all by thyself. I understand that this sounds weird, and not of the norm because when you really think about it… If someone says everyday or every other day “I can’t stand it I’m so BORED, I need to go somewhere hang out with my friends” you can relate, right? It makes sense. They’re totally drained by being bored at home. It’s the norm and isn’t considered unusual.

On the other hand, if someone says that they want to go home at a totally fun event or party that the majority of people are enjoying…. That person is party pooper, Debbie downer, and maybe annoying if they went to that fun place with others. Even if that person goes off by themselves for a while during that event, it may seem a bit rude. It may seem like they’ve offended you, or you may think they don’t even LIKE you by not wanting to be around you. So you see, it just seems like introverts have more to lose than extroverts do. It is just not as well understood by the majority of people, unless they’re introverts themselves. Sometimes I even have to second guess or pay attention closely if others are like me, even I get offended and question why are they distancing themselves? I usually figure it out quickly because often they resurface after a short while. It takes time to understand introverts, just like introverts take time to understand extroverts. I still don’t understand why some people want to be out and go to parties or events with so many people most of the time. I don’t understand why some people love taking risks, that can pose some danger.

Sometimes when I host a party… Like my children’s birthday parties, you will find me missing for at least half an hour. I would be in my room just chilling, relaxing, and maybe even watch a short tv show. Sometimes I would take Mileina with me, because she just likes to follow me everywhere anyway. Either way, it’s quiet time. Especially hosting a party, I have to talk to everyone, lol. Have the same conversations twice or even three times. Honestly sometimes it’s a bit a much for me, that’s why I take breaks and relax for a bit. It’s not against anyone, it’s actually really not. It has more to do with me not going to anxiety mode. I will use whatever means necessary to have this down time.

If we are not at home and spending the weekend at another place, I completely love it when it’s my youngest nap time. She gets to rest, and I get to have my quiet time. These one or two hours is like gold to me. It’s AMAZING! lol, I will lay down next to her for at least half an hour. Sometimes I stay in there the whole time blogging on my phone, but most of the time half an hour will do.

Sometimes if an event doesn’t allow me to do that, I’d take one of the kids and go to a corner in the given place. For example, at my son’s classmate birthday party at a jump house, I took my youngest one and have her play at the toddler section which no kid likes, haha, while the older two jumps their life away. Simple things like that is good for my type of introvert. I like to consider myself 25% introvert, if you can look at it that way. I will be fine in a large crowd for a few hours or so before I start to prefer to be alone for a short while.

Im pretty sure there are other types who just have to go home completely when they are out and about for too long. If I could have it my way all the time, I would probably do the same lol. Just kidding. Maybe. I think that is also why introverts sometimes are misunderstood by others. Others who are not introverts ask “why are you here all by yourself?” Or “why do you want to go home? We’re having fun!” Introverts might even come across as irritable when it hits. I use to think I was SO weird for being this way, until I met a few others who are also introverts. One revelation of what I am were confirmed by one of my neighbors. She’s older and therefore, wiser and understands a lot of things! One being is that her husband is an introvert, She would tell me that he will just go downstairs and literally watch tv by himself at his own party. LOL. That sounds familiar. Other examples of introverts could be dislike of change, uncertainty in situations because introverts like to plan ahead and know what is coming.

Are you an introvert? If so, let me know your experiences and what you do to recuperate!


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